ARE WE REALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR CHILDREN?

"Tell me, who’s responsible for what we teach our children? Is it the internet or the television stations?" – Asa (Nigerian Musician).

Just the other day, a young girl of about 13 was brought to a private clinic close to my house by her mother. My attention was drawn by the commotion outside. “Why were they guests to the clinic?” I wondered. What I discovered hit me like a blow: The young girl was pregnant.

This girl in question isn’t a new face to me, she lives in the neighborhood. I can still remember lucidly the day she was born and I have watched her grow. Occasionally, I do give her money or gifts. So, when the news broke that she was pregnant, I was moved to tears. The level of decay in society immediately became more obvious to me.

The first question anyone would immediately ask is, “who could have impregnated a minor?” Another comment that may come out from a person stunned like me will be: “her mother did not train her well?” Yet another person could say: “this girl is a bad child?” Trust Nigerians, they will say any of these without thinking twice. All of the above comments have their own just sides, but let’s talk about the core issues.

Like every other, there are two sides to this coin. First, the parents. Secondly, society. The question I started this piece with aptly explains the responsibility or irresponsibility of the parents. I am very aware her parents don’t spend quality time with her and her siblings. You always see this young girl with friends, some of whose sight could make an adult quiver. I am sure she doesn’t get or enjoy uninhibited interaction with her, as well as her father. Guess their thought will be: “let’s not spoil her...”

A father must be her daughter’s first boyfriend. Let the young girl understand what genuine love truly means by virtue of the selfless and pure love she enjoys from her father. Only then will she know that a man doesn’t have to go to bed with her to show he loves me. Thus, when she starts making male friends she will know who a real man is – one whose love is not self-seeking or polluted.

In same vein, we should not avoid giving our children sex education because somehow, somebody else or something will teach them, and then you would have no control of what they have been taught or the product they churn out. Sex is such a sensitive issue that no matter how young the child is, he/she wants to know something about it. My parents taught me nothing about sex or love; I did my own discovery myself. Most of the outcome of my ‘discoveries’ didn’t favour me.

Have you noticed that when you give a teenager/youth a magazine of general issues that happens to have a romance session, the chap will first read the romance session? This tells you that the crave is innate – whether child or adult. I believe they truly deserve to know the truth, from home. If you fail to be responsible for your kids, someone else will, without your permission.

In today’s world, the kids have found themselves new parents; the internet and television stations. These kids now effortlessly make musicians, actors/actresses and broadcasters as role models.

For the records, I am not against having these guys as role models!

But, I believe parents owe their children some degree of enlightenment, so they can make informed choices. Such that, when a child takes an actor/actress as a role model, he/she has profound and clear cut understanding of the enormity and implications of his/her choice.

We must enlighten our kids that there is more to reality than TV.

Now, the second issue here is society. Society has endorsed a lot of wrong things. Our regulatory institutions are not working, at all.

Issues concerning the Nigerian child are always a last thought. Those in leadership positions saddled with the responsible of being the eyes of government on the Nigerian child take undue advantage of their positions to enrich themselves.

Most musical videos are not supposed to be seen near television screens. Most movies [both local and foreign] are not supposed to be on our screens. The video clubs are supposed to have regulatory agencies. Public internet centers are supposed to be efficient supervision. Movies should be produced with the basic understanding that there is a FUTURE to build and that the children are watching. Many of the so called movies that are authorized for general viewing still have certain elements hazardous to the moral fiber of the young ones.

It is not all about money. The children are watching. They learn more from our actions than our words. We don’t have to keep saying “it doesn’t matter”. Fact is, it does. Institutions and government agencies must begin start rewarding distinction, not just corrupt people or sex symbols. Our kids need worthy and honourable people to look up to. We need new role models to show up on the horizon. They in business, entertainment, sports, religion etc.

You will agree with me that things weren’t as bad as they are now, as regards our values system. If nothing is done now, what becomes of tomorrow’s world? What kind of society will our children inherit? What kind of society will they bequeath to their own children? Moral bankruptcy is worse than financial corruption!

There is no sarcasm in the aphorism that says ‘the journey of a thousand miles begins with a step’. If things must change for the better, it must start now. We have so much of mummies and daddies, we need FATHERS AND MOTHERS. People who will stand up to be role models to their kids. People who will give their children a standard to hold on to.

Our children need dependable, responsible and faithful parenting. They do not deserve to be neglected. We really don’t have to train our child as bad as we were trained. The Holy book could not have been wrong when it admonished us to “train up a child in the way that he should go, such that when he is of age he will not depart from it...”

Let’s build a tomorrow we will be proud of.
You will happen!